tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3478275993537591735.post3271710447735898239..comments2023-12-09T22:04:54.837-05:00Comments on BPD Relationship Recovery -- Me Project: Why Do We Rescue?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3478275993537591735.post-9879276923678350222012-07-18T13:37:45.044-04:002012-07-18T13:37:45.044-04:00I am so glad I found this place! I just split up w...I am so glad I found this place! I just split up with my b/f of 3 years and somehow fell upon the BPD diagnosis myself. He's been in therapy on and off for years and therapy is a foreign concept to me - so all I knew is he had MASSIVE issues with his Mum, and huge abandonment fears... now I am pretty sure he was a mild BPD! The things people are saying on this blog make me suddenly NOT FEEL LIKE I AM INSANE! I mean, really, all my other boyfriends made sense, and were predictable, and I generally thought we'd been good to each other. This one MESSED WITH MY MIND, twisted (or actually MISREMEMBERED things I or he had said) and kept me on a roller coaster ride, of ups and downs for most of the 3 years we were together. I often wondered if I was completely mad, and he was the sane one... but now it's all making sense. There were lies, compulsive pornography, drugs, repeated breaking of my boundaries until I had none left, and just felt tired and beaten. He was insanely clever, and could argue black was white and I kept giving him the benefit of the doubt... but the cycle would repeat, whenever the relationship started to feel stable I KNEW he would find something to have a crisis over, and likely I would be the one left trying to make amends (for things I never had any control over anyway). Oh my. Thanks, I just needed to vent. Anyway, when he was good - he was amazing, and it does hurt that it's over, but mostly I feel free... I also realise I let this happen, I was being a rescuer - I've done it before, but didn't see it this time until it was too late. Anyway. Much love to all Nons and you troubled BPD's out there. As I see it - the BPD often doesn't understand their own motivation for manipulating the truth to protect themselves - so I am not angry with him... although it's impossible to have a relationship with someone who can't see it. He did get a bit better and take a bit more responsibility for his craziness, with therapy... but it's a long road.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com