You feel horrible. You feel like you're going to be alone forever. You fell like you've just lost the one that you were meant to be with for the rest of your life.
What to do next?
Educate yourself. The more you know, the better you will feel, and the more that you'll be armed against having this happen again in the first place.
Breakup Books
The following books could be used for anyone -- not just someone who was in a relationship for a borderline. They could be used for those recovering from a divorce or a severely enmeshed relationship. These are some of the best and take practical approaches to recovering from relationships, dysfunctional or not.
Begin To Get Your Sense of Self Back
So, you're now mourning the relationship. It's time to get into the driver's seat and make life good again. Appreciate your new found freedom and time. After all, you no longer have to worry about anyone else besides yourself.
One book that I found particularly useful was a book called Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends.
It contained plenty of great information, was a quick read, but helped me put everything into perspective and begin to grow once again. It was definitely one of those good ones to read when going through this change.
Learn To Start Getting The Love -- and Giving The Love -- That You Deserve
So, you're now on the right path. You're feeling better and better. While doing this, be sure to keep working through your regular issues -- mourning when appropriate, taking time for yourself, re-discovering who you really are.
When you're ready -- start getting the love that you deserve. I read a book which helped do this, called Getting the Love You Want. Harville Hendrix is a well-known psychologist that has helped thousands better understand themselves.
So, you're now on the right path. You're feeling better and better. While doing this, be sure to keep working through your regular issues -- mourning when appropriate, taking time for yourself, re-discovering who you really are.
When you're ready -- start getting the love that you deserve. I read a book which helped do this, called Getting the Love You Want. Harville Hendrix is a well-known psychologist that has helped thousands better understand themselves.
Dysfunctional Relationship Recovery Books
So, you've just gotten out of a relationship with a borderline or someone who has, let's say, issues. You're carrying some baggage. Check out these books and see what can help you best clear your baggage.
Learn How Not To Make The Same Mistakes
So, you're starting to get your sense of self back. You may want to go to a counselor to examine what drew you to the borderline and how to ensure it doesn't happen again. For me, it was a deep childhood issue with my sense of self -- I felt comfortable proving my worth, which the BPD constantly challenged.
One book that I found particularly useful was a book called No More Mister Nice Guy
. It helped me break some of the chains that had kept me in the relationship -- the chains of great sex, and others. 
Break The Chains of Codependency
Some need to go to Alanon. I didn't need it, but I did realize what codependent behaviors I had and broke them, for the most part. I read books like Codependent No More
which allowed me to start forming healthy, functional relationships with others.
BPD Books
Are you with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder, or you think that they may have BPD? Are you just learning about BPD? Besides sites like this, these books could help you better understand Borderline Personality Disorder
Stop Walking on Eggshells
was the book that I first read that introduced me to Borderline Personality Disorder. The book is quite informative and helps you learn all the basics to understanding BPD.
was the book that I first read that introduced me to Borderline Personality Disorder. The book is quite informative and helps you learn all the basics to understanding BPD.Randi Kreger's follow up, The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder
, helps the Non and the family understand BPD and how it works. Another great read.
, helps the Non and the family understand BPD and how it works. Another great read.
For the Borderline in your life, you may want to try looking at the DBT Skills workbook
. This contains DBT exercises.
. This contains DBT exercises.
