Life As It Is Now

So...I talk about the healing, I talk about still thinking about the BPD and still healing, but how is life overall?

In a word, wonderful.

Don't get me wrong--I still have baggage that I'm trying to shed, but overall, it's gotten wonderful. I found Jesus Christ and accepted him as my Lord and Savior, and things have fallen into place:

- My family is doing quite well, and we're closer than ever

- I see my kids, parents and extended family quite often

- I have a good, solid group of friends

- We've added Jennie and her daughter to the group, and we may be permanently adding them in the future

- The full time job is shaky, but that's okay -- there are plenty of opportunities out there.

The pain of recovering from a BPD relationship pushed me back to church. Ultimately, it was the Lord's way of pushing me back to Him.

I don't regret the relationship anymore. I now understand that I had to have it so I could be saved.

Overall, life is wonderful now. Becoming a Christian has taught me quite a bit and has taken quite a bit of the weight off of my shoulders. The quality of the people that I surround myself is truly astonishing.

Still, I'm a work in progress. I'll be one for the forseeable future, and I'm okay with that. I'll continue to have my steps back and feel my baggage. Maybe the chapter has ended...I don't know. I'll continue to write when I feel the need (which is actually more often than I actually write -- probably once a week -- I'll try to be more consistent). You can get my latest thoughts, fears, and baggage, as well as my highs, all here.

For those of you that are now suffering from a relationship with a BPD, go to church. Learn about the Lord and how he died for your sins. Learn about how when you accept the Lord into your life and begin your walk with Him, you are forgiven. You can shed the sins and the guilt.

During the relationship and after it ended, I felt so bad. Like I had done something wrong. Like I was no good, so unlovable, so...bad. Don't forget that the Lord is always with you, and the Lord never thinks you're bad. Since beginning my walk with the Lord, I have shed many of the chains that shackled me and made me feel guilty.

The walk, and the work -- on me -- continues.