You Can Recover from a BPD Relationship
It amazes you, because the longer you're out of a relationship with a BPD, the more you heal. If I had seen her two years ago, it would have been difficult to not get upset about the whole thing. A year ago, it still would have shook me, at least a little bit. Now, I say to my son, "is that her? Wow."
It's clear that my life is so different now. I look back at myself and see how much I've grown, wondering how I was able to put up with someone that had BPD. Clearly, we change and our tolerance changes. Poor Jennie has to deal with a more callous person -- hopefully, I'm still warm enough and loving enough that I fulfill her needs.
As time progresses, the borderline goes from the love of your life, the one that you wanted to spend every waking moment with, to one that you can't believe how much you put into. You almost get embarrassed that you were with this person and can't believe that you spent so much time on anyone, let alone someone that treated you so poorly.
That's what it's like when you get yourself back again. It's a very nice feeling.
Not a Normal Relationship
When I saw the borderline, I commented to my son (who's 15), "you know, if this was a normal relationship and we saw one another, we would have walked up to each other said hello, I would have introduced myself to her new boyfriend and would have told her about Jennie and--"
"It's not a normal, it was totally wacky," my son interrupted.
He's right, the relationship was completely nonsensical, it was not a normal relationship. This is not someone who thinks normally at all. It's a shame, but there can never be a friendship after the relationship has ended. She has made me into the enemy, someone who is evil and did terrible things to her.
Posting on BPD Relationship Recovery
I'm s-l-o-w-l-y moving the site and functionality to bpdrelationshiprecovery.com, a site that contains all the functionality here and more. On the site, I'm working on developing forums so readers can have conversations (strangely, people continue to communicate by commenting on this site :-)) and can help one another out.
The Us project is continuing to develop. If you'd like to continue communicating with others that are recovering from BPD, simply go to bpdrelationshiprecovery.com, register for the site and start contributing to the forums. You can send one another messages there and there are private forums for you, depending on where you are in your journey on the road to BPD relationship recovery.