Was it something you did (or didn't do)?
Did you do something that made your ex break up with you? Could you apologize and heal the relationship? If you can, then apologize and behave yourself in the future. In instances like this, a phone call is good. Call the person, apologize and tell them how important they are to you.
Did you not do something that you should have done? Did you miss an important birthday or holiday or event? Did you not pay enough attention to the other person and now you need to learn how to get your ex back? Figure this out. If you don't feel like you could have done something, then try some of the other approaches below.
If you can't apologize and heal the relationship, then see if there are other things to get them back. Sometimes you can begin seeing another person and jealousy will work, but I wouldn't recommend this tact. This could also push the person away -- for good.
Pride: The Greatest Gift & Worst Curse
Our pride often keeps us from getting too hurt. It also can keep us from realizing the pain we have put on others. See if your pride has gotten in the way of the truth; see if you were just being too proud and lost somebody because of this foolish pride.
They're Just Not That Into You
You may also realize that the person is simply not into you. They don't find you attractive or they have mentally moved on. If this is the case, it's time to move on. You then need to begin healing and making yourself feel better. Look at some of the posts in this blog, particularly the posts on healing, writing goodbye letters to lovers, and other exercises to get yourself through a tumultuous relationship.
Get The Help That You Need
Breakups are tough. They hurt, sometimes worse than you would ever expect. You're with someone for such a long time, sharing your hopes and dreams, then *poof* they're gone. It can be bad.
If you're feeling real bad, you may want to talk to a counselor to work through the feelings. If these feelings last too long, you may want to see a psychiatrist for medication.
Also, I recommend that you keep your spiritual side strong. Go back to church and talk to a pastor. People in church recognize that we are broken individuals, so you'll have people to share your world with, if you wish. If you don't, you can simply sit and listen. A spiritual foundation is quite important.
Do You Really Want To Get Them Back?
Don't forget that they're just people. They're human, and there are others in this world that are just as good, if not better, for you. There's a reason why your relationship was so broken, so don't forget that. Let yourself seriously ponder if you really want them back. If you do, then go after them.
You can get your ex back. You can get your ex boyfriend back. You can get your ex girlfriend back. You need to decide whether it's even worthwhile, though.
Reading Recommendations
Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends
How To Survive The Loss of a Love
Grieving the Loss of a Loved One
