How To Tell Someone That They Have BPD

How do you tell someone that they have BPD?

Can you really do this?

Maybe. Definitely maybe.

Shifting Responsibility
The problem is that when you tell someone that actually has BPD that they have Borderline Personality Disorder, they will shift the responsibility to you. "I don't have it, you do," will most likely be their response.

I've written about this numerous times before. I went from being a good person to a cheater, a narcissist, a liar, an abuser, someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder, a borderline...the list goes on.

A true borderline is the master of manipulation. They will take the most confident person and slowly erode their confidence through a carefully planned mixture of adoration and devaluation. Before you know it, you will actually feel like you could be borderline.



Get Professional Help
You could try to get the help of a professional counselor. I tried this, but found that psychologists won't usually actually diagnose someone with BPD. In the eyes of many psychologists, borderlines cannot be treated. Just like their partners, borderlines eventually try to manipulate their psychologists, so they are usually dismissed. They need to blame, and anyone that they are close with will receive that blame.

It's tough. If someone actually said that they were borderline or had a number of borderline behaviors, then they could get into dialectical behavior treatment. This, combined with an effective mix of anti-psychotic drugs, can actually help borderlines.

Getting borderlines into this type of therapy is rare, and quite difficult. If you can do it, there is a chance.

Make a Choice
As a Non in a serious relationship with a borderline, you must make a choice whether you want to stay in a relationship with a borderline. You know how the relationship will be -- constant ups and downs and little harmony.

If you think that you like or need the relationship this much, then stay in the relationship, but create boundaries to keep yourself from getting too hurt by the borderline. Also, join a group to help break the chains of codependency, as most Non's suffer from this quite a bit.

If you have told the borderline in your life that you think that they have Borderline Personality Disorder and you want change, make sure that they make the change and not shift the responsibility to you. The BPD in my life told me that she was the victim of me and that she kicked me out of her house when the situation was the opposite. I remember having to tell her that I had to leave but wanted the relationship to continue, provided she got help. The cycles of rage increased tenfold after we lived apart, and eventually, I stopped chasing her into her pit of rage, anger and emptiness.

You Can Tell Someone That They Have BPD
By all means, you can tell someone that you suspect that they are a borderline. Chances are, they will deflect and shift responsibility back on you. Just be prepared for the repercussions. You may want to do this in a professional's office, because with such a specific accusation, the professional will be forced to do something. I recommend finding someone who specializes specifically in Borderline Personality Disorder so you may have a chance at bringing closure.

Remember that borderlines are great at fight or flight, so be prepared for them to fight this issue, or completely avoid the issue. They could also flee from the relationship if they feel that threatened, so be prepared.