Where to Go From Here?

I read through my old posts and am amazed at the person I was. So full of fear, so afraid of being left. I know that I'm back to the person that I was before the entire relationship began, probably better because I'm through the divorce as well.

Some things have become evident to me:

• Many times, so many times, I've said that I was healed and was "over" the relationship. Who was I fooling? I'm finally feeling like I'm pretty much over it. I swear! It takes a full year, count it a year, to get over this kind of relationship. Your sense of right and wrong is completely in question
  
• It's an illusion. An absolute illusion. Although you think that the relationship is real, it's not. It's a mirage, I'm sorry to say. That's one of the hardest things for me to accept. I thought I was in a real relationship when, in fact, it was bogus.
  
• You will have baggage. Of course, you can minimize your baggage, but you will have baggage from such a relationship
• With all that said, you can recover from a relationship like this and grow as a result. You can either grow up or let it put you down. 

I had some growing to do, so I did it. Or, I should say, I'm doing it.

So, I have this blog that's well-viewed by readers around the world and hopefully helps others with their issues, trouble and journey. By no means am I a professional. I've simply expressed my thoughts, feelings and events that have occurred with the BPD.

Here's what I'll do:

• Continue to document my thoughts, feelings, happenings, etc on this blog
• I'll also start linking the blog out better to more useful resources
• Recap some of the other events that happened in the relationship:
• Being kicked out
  
• Being kicked out -- again
  
• The private investigator
  
• Denise and the accusations
  
• Constant STD scares
  
• The three hour talk
  

Feel free to post comments asking for what you'd like to see. Please note that I will not reply to posts as this is an anonymous blog and I need to keep it as such.