Thursday, November 20, 2008

Where to Go From Here?

I read through my old posts and am amazed at the person I was. So full of fear, so afraid of being left. I know that I'm back to the person that I was before the entire relationship began, probably better because I'm through the divorce as well.

Some things have become evident to me:
  • Many times, so many times, I've said that I was healed and was "over" the relationship. Who was I fooling? I'm finally feeling like I'm pretty much over it. I swear! It takes a full year, count it a year, to get over this kind of relationship. Your sense of right and wrong is completely in question
  • It's an illusion. An absolute illusion. Although you think that the relationship is real, it's not. It's a mirage, I'm sorry to say. That's one of the hardest things for me to accept. I thought I was in a real relationship when, in fact, it was bogus.
  • You will have baggage. Of course, you can minimize your baggage, but you will have baggage from such a relationship
  • With all that said, you can recover from a relationship like this and grow as a result. You can either grow up or let it put you down
I had some growing to do, so I did it. Or, I should say, I'm doing it.

So, I have this blog that's well-viewed by readers around the world and hopefully helps others with their issues, trouble and journey. By no means am I a professional. I've simply expressed my thoughts, feelings and events that have occurred with the BPD.

Here's what I'll do:
  • Continue to document my thoughts, feelings, happenings, etc on this blog
  • I'll also start linking the blog out better to more useful resources
  • Recap some of the other events that happened in the relationship:
  • Being kicked out
  • Being kicked out -- again
  • The private investigator
  • Denise and the accusations
  • Constant STD scares
  • The three hour talk
Feel free to post comments asking for what you'd like to see. Please note that I will not reply to posts as this is an anonymous blog and I need to keep it as such.

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Please tell me your story and how it relates to Borderline Personality Disorder. I appreciate any and all comments that you leave on this blog, and as long as they do not contain inappropriate language or are not on-topic, will publish them. Please note that I cannot respond to blogs as this is an anonymous blog. However, I will publish all appropropriate comments.