Friday, September 5, 2008

Things Get Better -- Much Better

I haven't provided a posting in a while, yet visitors keep coming to the blog, which, in turn, makes me feel like I should post. One of the main reasons that I feel so compelled to post is when I review the keywords. 

As someone who was up to his eyeballs one year ago as I began to detach from a person inflicted with Borderline Personality Disorder, I've been there.

As someone who is close to, if not fully, healed from the scars that a relationship with a BPD inflicts on you, you CAN get out and live a better life.

I've been there. I know the feeling. I never thought that I could do it. You can do it if you want though.

How To Get Out Of A Borderline Relationship For Good:
1. Create a solid support system of friends, family, co-workers, 12-step, support group...whatever you can before you leave the relationship. Have people to lean on when you need them. In the end, though, this is YOUR decision, and you will have difficult times. Just be prepared for them.
2. Commit to yourself -- commit to improving yourself and making yourself feel better. If you feel that you were codependent (you probably were), join groups like Al-Anon. See a therapist.
3. Be sure to get spiritual fulfillment -- Go to church, synogague or whatever form of organized religion that you subscribe. It's critical to have this support while going through this type of change.
4. Recognize that you will have difficult times, but these difficult times will make you a better, stronger and more secure person. Change is difficult, but in the end, it helps you become a better person.
5. Spend your free time with your support system and have friends that you consider "lifelines" when you need them.
6. While healing, learn about yourself -- learn why you fell into such a relationship, what warning signs to look for in the future, and how to ensure that you are treated well in the future.
7. Frequent websites like and the Welcome To Oz newsgroup. These support groups are invaluable as you sever ties with a BPD and begin to understand what happened.

You can and will be a better person in the end.

I realized that the relationship was critical to my development -- critical to making me a whole person. To be the person I am today, I had to endure quite a lot of difficulty -- quite a lot of abuse from the BPD relationship. Now, I am a stronger, more confident and secure person.

Good luck in your journey. It can get better and you can get out of it. 

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Please tell me your story and how it relates to Borderline Personality Disorder. I appreciate any and all comments that you leave on this blog, and as long as they do not contain inappropriate language or are not on-topic, will publish them. Please note that I cannot respond to blogs as this is an anonymous blog. However, I will publish all appropropriate comments.