I completely forgot about the BPDs and the terrible case of Separation Anxiety that they have. When I started dating the BPD, I was living in Delaware, and she was living in New Jersey. We would spend the weekend together, having an amazing weekend, and then I'd have to leave.
The goodbyes would always be hard; I would have to go back to work, so my departure was imminent, but we'd push it to the last moment. After I left, it would take three hours, and no more than three hours, for her separation anxiety to become so bad that she would contact me with her first round of accusations.
Her accusations were so ridiculous that they were comical. I asked her to log onto my email account (bad move) and she found SPAM porn email, so she started accusing me of being a sex addict.
On another instance, she accused me of leaving my shoes in women's places throughout the area so I had an excuse to go back. She also accused me of having women geographically disbursed throughout the area so I'd have someone to see regardless of where I went.
I had to travel quite a lot at that position, which was bad enough; now I was being accused of being so insecure that I needed people to see everywhere I went.
When I was living through these waves of accusations, I thought them comical, thinking things like I can't even believe that she'd think these things about me. The accusations were so ridiculous that you'd have to laugh.
Looking back, that was her reality, and she loathed herself so much that she really believed that someone would take such advantage of her.
I used to tell the BPD that she had separation anxiety and would joke with her about it. I never knew that it was a real term.
I tried everything with the BPD to deal with her separation anxiety. I gave her a card for her to keep in her purse in case she started feeling anxious that would reinforce that I loved her and she was the only one for me.
Sadly, she ripped that card up within a week. Borderlines will live their fantasy no matter how you try to intervene and make their life secure.
So sad.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
2 comments:
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Was she unfaithful to you?
ReplyDeleteMine was always flirting. She was disloyal and I'm almost sure she was unfaithful...
She ended up breaking up with me to date another guy she just met. But you see..."they were destined to be...and she knew that". One week latter she dumped him for another one...
I‘m a girl with BPD and ive been experiencing separation anxiety toward my boyfriend recently. I dont accuse of anything to my bf like your ex but after we say goodbye after a date I feel so down and depressed I dont feel like doing anything, I stop talking to anyone and stop getting calls and txt msgs from my bf. I just cry all day in my room, worrying that he will leave me.
ReplyDeleteIts really hard to fight the feeling. Ive never met someone who loves me and shows me love like my bf.. not even my family. I guess I feel a strong attatchment to him.
I wish people in relationship with BPDs would understand that its because they are in love deeply but dont know how to express tht love in a right way like a normal people woud to their loved ones..