What does a borderline do when things are going too well and they need something to react to?
They make it up, of course.
BPD Dissociation Defined
Those with borderline personality disorder have to believe something so much, they have to convince the world that their feelings are true. The definition of dissociation, according to Internet site Medterms.com, is a perceived detachment of the mind from the emotional state or even from the body. Dissociation is characterized by a sense of the world as a dreamlike or unreal place and may be accompanied by poor memory of the specific events.
To simplify this, if a borderline feels a certain way, has an insecurity or feels badly about it, it may just be their insecurity or their incredibly fragile sense of self worth (actually, self-loathing). The borderline will actually prove their insecurities in their mind by making up stories that fulfill their insecurities.
Think about this one -- if you were afraid that a building was going to fall down, you would make up stories about how people came and planted bombs around its foundation to make it fall down.
Does that make sense? Not at all.
Welcome to the world of BPD Dissociation.
Dissociation is one of the parts of Borderline Personality Disorder that shows that this disease is a Personality Disorder. It shows that the true Borderline lives on the border of psychosis and neurosis. They are truly troubled people that live in a world that we Nons just cannot understand. It's a world where they're allowed to make things up to fit their fleeting fantasies.
It's not a fair world for the Non.
The borderline that I was with used to tell me things that I just couldn't believe were true. Such a normal looking person saying such such outlandish things. Clearly, something just wasn't right. The stories were so far fetched, yet she believed them and made them true in her mind.
Examples of these stories and her insane dissociation is vast. Some of the most egregious ones were when I was traveling and she hired the private investigator, she told me, "you were having phone sex with someone."
I was talking to my Best Friend, Chris. Looking back, she kept me up all night after she had a private investigator tail me and find nothing by making up things.
Every day, she would make things up. She would accuse me of cheating on her, doing something, lying to her, whatever it may be, nearly every single day. The game that we played was that I would have to prove myself, prove my self worth to her, every day when she would make up these tall tales.
Dissociation Means No Win For The Non
The problem with BPD Dissociation is that you can only argue your side so much until you feel tired and exhausted of their stories. These are fantasy stories that they have made up to prove their beliefs.The biggest problem is that the Non who is trying to love a borderline, trying to live a good life with a borderline, simply can't do it. The borderline's fantasies will wear the Non down, will erode the Non's self esteem and sense of self worth, and can end up destroying the unsuspecting Non.
The BPD I was with was a widow. Her husband died of a drunk driving accident. He was at a work-related party and was in an accident on his way home. He had recently found out that the BPD was cheating on him with a friend of his. He had no idea about Borderline Personality Disorder or anything. Imagine how he must have felt having a wife that was cheating on him with a friend, a neighbor.
How to Address BPD Dissociation
The only way to address BPD Dissociation is to stay firm and do not give into the BPD's fantasies. If you give into their fantasies, you make them reality. You are doing a number of things here:- You are validating their non-reality and their fantasy world
- You are going to erode your own self-esteem and self worth because the world as you know it is now unsure
- You are giving the borderline more fuel to create even more outrageous stories.
Don't give into BPD dissociation. Reality is reality, and most BPDs do not know reality.
