The Firehouse: BPD Drama At Its Best

The firehouse was the best example of BPD drama and the way that borderlines view their lives as a movie. To fully understand the borderline and her boyfriend Bob, read the past few posts, then read Saint Patrick's Day as well as the More About Bob posts.

Before I start, let me say that this is the Borderline's story, so I cannot validate the story's validity. I later found from Bob that they both had restraining orders against them and that she was convicted on charges of making terroristic threats.

The Borderline said that she was done with the relationship and going to break up with him. When they went to their normal bar to spend the night together, she told him and he asked her to take a ride with him. Of course, she obliged.

When they took a ride, he took her to a local fire house. He worked as a fire fighter in this local town and the town had multiple houses through the small city. This one was pretty far out.

She said that at this point, she said that she wanted to go home, and he retorted, "you're not going anywhere," grabbing her arm and pulling her into the firehouse.

Inside the firehouse, they went to the top floor. Arguing and eventually fighting, she said that he grabbed her and was going to throw her out the window. She screamed for help out the window to people leaving the local gym, but no one would come. He beat on her, and she could do nothing.

They had been drinking on the third floor, and she smashed a beer bottle off, threatening to cut him with the beer bottle. He then pushed her down the stairs, and she rolled down all of the stairs, he came after her, spraying her with a fire extinguisher.

Somehow, she got out of his clutch and got out of the building. She ran to a local police station. He gave chase and caught her outside the police station, right around a lot full of parked police cars. At this point, she appeased him, saying that she wanted to be back with him, and began to kiss him. He calmed down, kissing her back and beginning to fondle her.

She then hit him and took off, screaming for help. There were police officers outside the building who paid attention to her, heard her and came to her. They brought her inside, her blouse torn to shreds.

Bob came walking up, an officer of the town who worked for the fire department and on the planning board, trying to explain.

After hours of questioning, she was let go and Bob was arrested. He was convicted and forced to go through anger management counseling on her request.

"She [the judge] threw the f*^#ing book at me," Bob told me in our brief conversation on Saint Patrick's Day. He said that when they met, she beat him up and that he was merely defending himself. He also said that she was convicted on charges of making terroristic threats. At one point, the BPD actually had made terroristic threats at me, saying when I moved into my apartment, "if anyone else has been here, I'll make you wish that they never were," or something threatening like that.

The firehouse drama continued up until the trial, according to the BPD. Before the trial, friends of Bob were threatening her, "if you press charges, you'll wish that you never did." They testified about how the BPD performed sexual acts with Bob in public, at bars and in other strange places.

As I write this, I'm disgusted that I was with a woman that lacked any integrity. These are perfect examples of her true character and my Dulcinea Syndrome.

She told me that when they drove to the trial, she and her father saw Bob, and Bob yelled to her, "I love you."

Drama, Drama, Drama.

I'm not sure how much of this story is real, what is true and what is conjured up. Clearly, this was BPD drama in its true glory, and the perfect ending to a BPD story of drama. The movie ends the way a movie is supposed to end.

When I saw Bob and talked with him, his attorney was going to contact her and request that she lift the restraining order against him, as he was then about to be Captain of the Fire Squad. Not sure if it every happened, but the cycle continued.

I wonder if more drama came of the whole situation. Only time will tell.

BPD and Thanksgiving: Holiday Drama

The BPD was quite interesting around the holidays. Her parents, who lived a couple of states away, would come up for this holiday and would stay with her sister.

However, my family has had a tradition that is now about 20 years old. My parents have Thanksgiving dinner every year at their house. My kids have never missed a year, and none of us miss this tradition.

Thanksgiving is the time of year where we get together, celebrate good times and enjoy one another. We have a close family that enjoys one another's company, so there is no dysfunction at family meals.

The Borderline's family was different. The BPD's mother is an alcoholic, drinking at least a bottle of wine a night, so the dysfunction runs rampant. Her father never had a real career, working as a sales representative for multiple companies and selling groceries, air conditioners and other products. No wonder there were so many problems, looking back.

Anyway, in 2006, we were together, and I told her about Thanksgiving, which she was happy to attend. Given that her parents were in town, we would have dessert at her sister's house so we could see her family -- the win-win for all involved.

Her parents weren't very happy. They wanted us to be there for the entire time. When she told them otherwise, it caused major issues.

When we got there, her mother was drunk and made a scene. At least we know where the BPD learned about drama.

I tried to keep things light, but it was a train wreck. The kids had a good time, which is what matters.

The following year was right before we broke up. We actually saw Valerie the last time right after Thanksgiving, but we didn't spend Thanksgiving together. This is when The Showdown occurred and we discussed who was borderline -- more total BPD Drama. I had thought we were going to be back together in the near future, but the relationship imploded within two weeks, not to be put back together.

The BPD learned about drama from her family, and it was clearly displayed by her mother. They couldn't respect the fact that my family was having Thanksgiving and that we would split our attendance so both would be happy. It was an all-or-nothing proposition in their mind, win-lose.

The drama never stopped. Every turn had to be conflict. Drama proves their worth, and this is yet another example of this.

BPD Drama: Something About Mary

Borderlines love the drama. They live on it. It defines them.

While the borderline loves any kind of drama, their favorite drama is the drama of attraction.

We all like to feel like others are attracted to us. It makes us feel special. It makes us feel like we are wanted.

However, with the normal person, we know that this attraction will not go any further. With someone that lacks boundaries (like a Borderline), this attraction can go much further. Most will let it go all the way.

Someone who loathes themselves like a borderline loves this attraction. Their sexuality is the most primal part of this attraction and proves to them I'm worthy of love and attention.

Something About Mary

Before I met the BPD, she had lived in a small city, but moved after her neighborhood shunned her and pretty much shut her out. She told me what it was like when she lived in this town. This may be hard to follow, but it's even harder for me to remember. Follow along here:

- She was cheating on her husband with Bob. Having a full blown affair

- Her husband knew something was wrong. He was freaking out and quite upset

- A local bartender was hitting on her, telling her how hot she was

- The owner of another local bar thought she was beautiful and hitting on her

- While having an affair with Bob, she slept with Brian, Bob's best friend, one night while walking home from a bar. Twice

- Eddie, Bob's partner in the Liquor store that they owned, used to tell the BPD about how Bob (who was still married) treated his wife and what was happening at Bob's house

- By the way, Eddie regularly propositioned the BPD and said that he would take care of her

- Eventually she had a threesome with Bob and the local bartender. But she said that she couldn't do it

Whew. I'm tired from all of this. I think that's how it went down. It all ended with The Firehouse incident, which I'll cover in a future installment (real soon -- I forgot about this). Talk about drama.

As you can see, the Borderline lives for this attraction. I fell into her trap of the victim. Some have called the BPD a vulnerable seductress. Now you can see why.

Borderline partners must be given firm boundaries, or they will violate all boundaries. The Non partner can quickly suffer from major self-esteem issues, as mentioned in previous entries. If you are the Non in a BPD relationship, keep your eyes open, and make sure that you set these firm boundaries. Your self-worth is at stake.

BPD Drama: Movie Stars

Borderlines love drama. They subconsciously love it. They define themselves and their self worth by the drama that is spinning around them. If their world is in turmoil, they're subconsciously happy.

Drama proves to the BPD that they are important, that they matter to the world. The BPD proves to themselves that they matter by testing their partners, setting boundaries and seeing how big the boundaries are that their partner will break.

What works best for the BPD is when the partner actually breaks the boundaries. This allows them to be victims, something that the BPD loves.

The Borderline that I was with used to tell me about Bob, her old boyfriend, and the boundaries that he broke:
- After they had broken up, he came back to her with a bouquet of roses, begging for her to take him back.

- He used to break into her house to see her, going through a window when he wanted to get into the house

- She would tell him that she was calling the police and not to come over. He would tell her what the phone number for the police was and would say that he's on his way over, coming over.

- He actually kicked down a door in her garage to get into her house.

I must disclaim that these are accusations that the BPD made about Bob. Whether they are real or not, I'm not sure. My conversation with Bob indicated a whole different story. Read more about the Bob story in these two entries: Saint Patrick's Day and More About Bob.

She used to tell me that Bob was a narcissist, a liar, someone who had huge rage issues and childhood issues. Looking back, I know that she was talking about herself.

Borderlines by nature are quite narcissistic (narcissism by definition is excessive love or admiration of one's self) as they have to mask their incredible self-loathing underneath. Someone who has this loathing finds that they are valuable through the drama. It's like they are in a movie, so the drama proves who they are.

The Borderline's world was this movie. Unfortunately, with me, I didn't want the movie. I would calm her world, every day, and push the movie out. When I traveled, the movie would come back and she had to hire private investigators. The borderline wanted the movie so bad that she conjured events that didn't happen.

After I moved out of living with the borderline, her movie started once again. She would rage on me. One time where I wasn't proud of my actions (I called her about 20 times in an hours time when she wouldn't answer the phone), she told me, "if you come over, I'm calling the police."

That was the line that I couldn't cross. We saw each other once after that, and she came over. I never went near her house after that.

The BPD lives on this drama. They want their life to be an exciting movie. In the next installment, read the drama that the BPD really likes: Sexual Drama.