My Old Car

I have an old car that I love to drive. It drives wonderfully, when it runs. It gets great fuel economy, and I was hoping that my son would someday drive it.

It's a safe car that runs well.

The problem is that the car is a 1997 and continually has problems. Big problems:

• I was at the beach and the car ruptured an oil line. I had to stop every 20 miles and put more oil into the vehicle
• The car continues to lose power on a regular basis when I go up hills. It's a turbo diesel and multiple mechanics can't figure it out.
• Most recently, the car's sunroof is now leaking

I sit there, always thinking to myself, if I fix this one more thing, the car will run well.

Just one more thing and everything will be fine.

I felt the same way about the borderline. If I do this one more thing, she'll trust me and all will be well.

If I tolerate this one more time of abuse, all will be well and she'll trust me.

Just one more thing and she'll trust me.

I stayed in the relationship from the beginning thinking this and never learned.

My old car is now for sale.

Tolerance

Our life is defined by how we tolerate things.

I don't think I could say it any simpler. What we tolerate in life determines how we live, how easy or hard a life we have, and ultimately how much we enjoy our lives.

If we tolerate too many things that are bad for us, our self esteem and self worth suffers, and our overall emotional health suffers.

If we tolerate too little, we do not have the opportunity to enjoy the pleasures that life offers. We live a shallow life as we can never see events through to our conclusion, we have few if any longlasting relationships and we live a judgemental life. Those that tolerate little live life that is isolated, sheltered and downright lonely.

Tolerance is key in life, but not at your own personal expense. Think about life and if the trials that you are being put through have any benefit. Weigh the benefit against the expense, then decide whether it is worth tolerating.

Do NOT lose your self-worth or self dignity in the name of a relationship, a team, a group, or anything else. Tolerate the tolerable; do not tolerate the intolerable.

Do not accept the unacceptable.

Living in groups requires us to tolerate. It requires us to tolerate others' views, others' cultures, others' looks, others' personalities, and the like. This is what makes the human race such a wondeful race -- we can work together to accomplish goals, and our level of cooperation, combined with our level of intelligence, makes us one of, if not the most superior being on this planet.

The key is tolerance. If we can tolerate the good, accept the good, understand the good, and not tolerate the bad, we can live a well-rounded, fulfilled life. 

This is most challenging in life and requires plenty of practice. Many, if not most, are not good at tolerating what is normal, and not tolerating what is not normal. They fall short somewhere or another -- either they tolerate too little or too much. Striking the balance requires a lifetime of learning.

Borderlines in particular are not very tolerant. Their issues are so acute, and their perception of the world is so myopic that they cannot build a well-rounded view that tolerates the tolerable. They have to overstep areas and not tolerate the acceptable, or in fact, not tolerate what could be delightful to them.