Sunday, May 18, 2008

The Chapter Ends

Well, it's time to close this chapter of my life. What a chapter it has been. I've grown more in the past few years than I have in the rest of my adult life, and I've emerged that person that I always wanted to be. I've renewed my faith in my religion, have gotten to a point of content, and have truly believed in myself and in the goodness of humanity once again.

As I'm reaching this point of being content and pushing out this positive energy, this positive energy attracts someone who's amazing, and someone who I knew over 20 years ago. I went to high school with her; we were acquaintances that were in similar, but always different circles.

We met on an online dating site and didn't realize that we knew one another or went to the same high school until we had been communicating for days. The initial attraction was there and was developing quickly without each of us knowing that we knew each other, but it all gelled -- quite quickly -- once we knew who each of us was.

The strange thing is that I remembered her voice, yet she said we never talked. I remembered it vividly. I also remembered the jacket she wore, although she said that we never talked. I remembered that vividly and remembered the people that she hung around with as well.

Despite the picture that I had in my head of her, she still looked a little different in the picture. When I saw her though, I knew that it was her - she looked the same except she dyed her hair blonde. What did she say to me? "You look exactly the same."

Since seeing each other the first time, we've spent quite a bit of time together. We spent an entire weekend together, away and playing on the beach.

We fit quite well together from every perspective. We have fun like there's no tomorrow, we laugh together, we love together; we are affectionate all the time, and we support one another. We have a true partnership, and the care that we have for one another emanates from us.

You Can Have a Healthy Relationship After A Borderline Relationship

stayed in the relationship with the BPD for a long time because I was afraid that I would never have many of the things that I had with her. With my new partner, I have all of those things and more without any drama, dysfunction or abuse on me. It's all possible, if you do the work and believe in yourself.

I believed in myself, and it happened. Anyone who was in a relationship with a partner inflicted with Borderline Personality Disorder can heal themselves and have a functional relationship after their relationship with the BPD, but they must properly heal themselves. It's probably the most difficult process that I've been through, but I now feel much better.

I've replaced most of the bad memories that the BPD had put into my head, but some will still emerge. When they do, I easily clear them and laugh about them quite regularly -- someone should never accuse you of sending text messages when you're going to the bathroom -- that's just silly.

Like I've said before, the relationship made me grow quite a bit. Now, it's time to develop a solid, functional relationship with a wonderful woman that shares my spirit, my soul, my faith, my love of life. We have infinite possibilities together, and we know that. We also have a long road ahead of us before our relationship can be permanent, but we're both optimistic, which is nice.

You can have a quite happy, healthy life after a relationship with a Borderline.

I hope you've enjoyed these journals and the story of this part of my life with a BPD. With that, I bid you adieu.


  1. Congrats Dennis. I hope you keep commenting on WTO : Your comments are always among the best. Me? Still haven't found anyone special. I sued my BPD Ex for Fraud, Breach of Promise, and Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress (You may recall she abandoned me as I lay gravely ill 1500 miles away from my home.) The lawsuit has resulted in her returning to me over 30 items I had given to her, but not the religious artifact she stole from me while I was away being treated. I occasionally think of her, usually in conjunction with the lawsuit, which is now at the "money" part.

    I do feel better, happier, and stronger without her, although I miss the sex and the companionship. The rest: Forget it!

    She is still with her new boyfriend - a retired 64 year old accounting teacher, who does all their cooking and cleaning. I sort of feel sorry for him, but if he wants her he can have her.

    Life goes on. A better, non-BPD life.

    Take care.

    Lance in Miami

  2. Wow. This reads very well for me. Though I seperated from my BPD girlfriend about three months ago, I still get emails from her accusing me for things. It was and still feels really hard for me to accept what has happened. I am now starting to realize the little chapter in the back of my mind which always knew this would not end in a friendly way. I just still have this sympathy which I thought was sth like love. Because of that it's so good to read that other people have similar problems and I really thank everybody.
    Chris from Germany

  3. I am not to sure. Some of this sounds grim. I am a BPD myself and I have an one dreadful relationship and now I am in another where it seems lots of understanding and working together helps.


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