Thursday, June 24, 2010

Relationship Recovery Step 6: Find Others That Have Been There and Have Felt the Pain

So, you've started your healing process, you've committed, you've felt the pain, you've built your support group and you've flexed it, but you're still missing quite a lot.

You've just gotten out of a relationship with someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. This disease is like no other, and unfortunately, unless you've been there, most in your support group just won't get it. In fact, you'll even feel like you can talk to them so much, but there will still be aspects of the relationship where you won't feel comfortable telling. Part of it will be shame.

This is where it's important to have a group of people that have been through a relationship with a borderline and can empathize with you. There's nothing, nothing like mental illness, particularly Borderline Personality Disorder. The borderline seems completely normal to someone that doesn't know the person very well, so trying to explain the illness and get sympathy from others could make you feel -- and possibly be viewed as -- a little nutty.

It's difficult, though. How -- where -- do you find a group of people that have similar problems, similar issues? Especially if you live out in a rural area? 

This is when technology -- particularly the Internet -- becomes an invaluable gem.

The Internet Spawns Support Groups

There are many different support groups that can help you get through these issues.  The forums change regularly, so I can't attest to which one is best for you.

My personal favorite is Randy Kreger's Welcome to Oz support groups on Yahoo! Groups. They allow the person receive a regular download of those contributing as well as contribute when they are ready.  This group, and the people that are on the group, helped get me through the dark days when I was recovering from the relationship. People reached out to me and befriended me when I asked for the help. I'm eternally grateful to this group and the people that helped me get through these days.

BPD Relationship Recovery -- The Next Step

So, I've been thinking about this blog and what to do next with it -- the answer is provide more support for you. So, we're going to create the support in an Internet environment where we can support one another:

I'm working out the kinks of the site right now, but in this site, you'll (eventually) be able to:
- Create your own persona/personality
- Contribute and start topics
- Start your own "Me Project"
- Contribute to forums

All in one place. Welcome to the next phase of The Us project.

Please, cruise over to, take a look at the site, create your own ID, get a site and more. I'll be covering more of the "how to's" with this site in the future but the quick highlights include:

- There are forums in the Groups section -- some are confidential (men only) so your posts are completely anonymous, others are public.
- You can create your own "Me Project" blog. So, if you're like me and you want to write, you can create your own blog. 
- In the future, I'll actually create ways for you to make money from blogging on I'll put advertising on the site that you'll get a share (Note: during all the time that I've had this blog, I've made about $20 -- you're not going to make much, but every bit can help).
- You can contribute to the forums section, posting on different topics
- You can create your own person, avatar, and send messages to everyone in the group.
- There's more. this is just the tip of the iceberg.

So, The Me/Us project is now evolving to its next iteration. Please take the trip with me. Do the following:
- Navigate to
- Sign in, and get your own website if you want. Start blogging if it so suits you.
- Go into the groups (sign into the ones that suit you) and start posting topics.

I can't do this all by myself. I need your help. Please help as we move the Me/Us project to the next level.

See you at

1 comment:

  1. I have been in a relationship with a bpd/npd for 18 years. It has only been one month since I have had no contact with the bpd. I am reading everything I can on this subject. Reading about others experience's are quite helpful in seeing my life and start my recovery.


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