Monday, December 8, 2008

The Grand Finale

Today was the day -- or maybe it was next week -- but for history's sake, I'm going to mark today as the day that we last spoke, for the final time.

I was at work, and she was in her normal rage. She had told me goodbye, and me, in my not normal self, immediately put myself on a dating site. The BPD had done this one of the many times that we broke up, and she had done it once again this time. She put herself on a dating site.

I put myself on one too. She freaked out. Absolutely freaked.

Now, just to recap, the BPD had put herself on a dating site when she broke up with me. However, when I put my profile on that same dating site, the BPD freaks out.

I start getting text messages that say, "As you read this message with your sadistic shit eating grin, I hope you die in hell with Satan."

I can't believe that I remember that, but I remembered it. In fact, I saved that message on my phone for months. When I would feel real weak and want to reach out to the BPD, I'd look at that message and remember that was her thought towards me.

Then after that, the drama got worse. Her messages went to "ohhhh, I'll miss you....goodbye my lover..." It was so strange, from one extreme of hatred to total disarray.

The saddest thing? I fell for it and played along, fully engulfed in the BPDs drama. She was so upset that I was on a dating site yet had herself on the site before I was there. 

The following day, we spoke on the phone, and she was raging at me. Telling me how bad of a person I was, again, and telling me how all of this was my fault. 

She then told me that she would be going to a bar by my house and not to go there. I told her that I was closer and I was going there. Her response?

"I'll start dating the bartender and get you kicked out."


This was the grand finale. Someone that I thought that I was going to marry, someone that I looked at buying the dream house with, someone that I fully let go, tells me that she's going to start dating a bartender to get me kicked out of a bar?

There's priorities for you. 

1 comment:

  1. Isnt it strange they think they can do what they like but when you do similiar ! you are in trouble

    He had finished with me (again ) ! when he joined a dating site, so after two weeks i joined one, thats when he really got angry calling me a serial dater & i really cannot print what else he said & called me as its disgusting

    He used it against me evrytime he needed to find something to throw at me.& when i told him 'you joined it first' he said it was just to get to me !!! NICE eh
    I think he joined the dating site just to hurt me whereas i joined to try and move on
    The BPD does not seem to like it when us nons try to get a life & this confused me as it was him who had ended the relationship AGAIN ! oh god what a roller coaster iam so glad i am off it now.
    Iam wondering why i got pushed away and pulled back in time and time again , a puppet on a string was what i felt i was , a game to him which he thrived on, i know he enjoyed his little games because once we were back together and he had hooked me back in he would laugh about the drama & think it was funny i would always went quite at these times ( i dont know why as i should have said to him that it was not at all funny )& it was childish and imature but maybee the fear off more drama kept me silent.


Please tell me your story and how it relates to Borderline Personality Disorder. I appreciate any and all comments that you leave on this blog, and as long as they do not contain inappropriate language or are not on-topic, will publish them. Please note that I cannot respond to blogs as this is an anonymous blog. However, I will publish all appropropriate comments.