Monday, December 15, 2008


So, I've got this blog that's become *pretty* popular and well-read by the world, particularly those that are recovering from relationships with Borderlines -- I feel for you, believe me. It's a tough road that you're currently going down, but it gets better. If you do the work, you'll end up an amazing person. Make sure that you do the work, though.

So I still feel this need to entertain you, this need to keep giving you information that you need, so I'll tell you stories. Stories about the relationship that we had. I'll discuss the good, the bad, and the ugly.

So, why not start at the first date?

I met the BPD on an Internet dating site which will remain nameless for the time being. I believe that Internet dating sites can be fine, but you need to fully screen people that you meet. She and I exchanged emails but that was it.

The first date was a great date. We discussed our past, what we were looking for, and how we got to dating in our late 30s. The date was memorable -- from what we discussed to how it ended:
- We drank too much. We started by having a drink at one bar, then having sushi for dinner and drinking more, then smoking and drinking at another bar, then going to yet another bar and drinking there also.
- At the end of the night, she was visibly drunk and was going to head home. I urged her not to drive, as I was feeling buzzed and weighed 70 pounds more than her. My urgings finally convinced her not to drive, so we had coffee at a diner.
- She asked me questions, and told me things, that were clearly inappropriate and violated basic boundaries, typical of a borderline. They do not have boundaries, so they do not know how to respect them. Examples of these questions:
- Have you ever had a threesome? I have.

There were plenty more questions as well. They were questions that made you feel like the person was very interested in you, not without boundaries. I should have known, but did not have the experience to understand this.

The night also ended without boundary. We made out in my car, then she whispered in my ear "tell me what you like." A guy loves hearing these kinds of things -- they make you feel like someone's real into you. But you also think that she does this with anyone.

I responded, "I'm not ready to tell you that." I liked her and wanted the relationship to blossom. Didn't want to take advantage either.

So, boundaries were crossed on the first date. It was a fun night, but there was early evidence that she was going to continually cross boundaries. 

The second date really started to show how badly the boundaries would be crossed. The third date was even worse. Stay tuned.

1 comment:

  1. Oh yes, the when she slept with her prom HS date at her ten year reunion and then shared it at lunch with a bunch of people she barely new (like me). Or how about how we hooked up the second time we met after drinking and smoking of course. Or the guy who supposedly hooked up with her and hi female friend one night at the bar...oh I could go on, was the sex ever so amazing to make me not think about how gross she could be....there were of course the stories about her getting it on with a coked out coworker in a peep show booth. bootsiebee


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