Always Sundays

I still think about you.
I still have nights where I miss what we had.
I still think about the girls and hope they're doing well
I still think about the hound and hope she's still kicking.
I still think about the good things, the blended family, the fun we had.
I still think about my dance partner and being able to dance anywhere with you.
I still think about my ski, bike, and general play partner
I still think about someone who could match my energy
I still think about watching shooting stars together and wishing for a wonderful future
I still think about my amazing lover
I still think about someone who I thought was my lover for the rest of my life, my partner
I still think about the dreams we shared, and the future that we were going to forge together.
I still think about the love that I thought we shared and how I thought it was real
I still think about how hurt I was and how tough it has been
I still think about how poorly you treated me at the end
I still think about the mean things that you said
I still think about how you accused me of all those horrible things that I would not do to my worst enemy
I still think about how you made all the problems mine and would not go back to counselors when you agreed to go back -- three times
I still think about how you made me feel so bad and told me that I was bad every day
I still think about the pain that you put onto me
I still think about the lies
I still think about the private investigator and you making things up to kick me out -- twice
I still think about the constant instability
I still think about not being able to plan anything because I didn't know if I'd still be there
I still think about the turmoil
I still think about the abuse
I still think about your misery.

I now know that you can't hurt me anymore.

I'm getting better.