Thursday, May 13, 2010

BPD Stories

They're dwindling again -- the number of BPD stories that I can tell about my relationship are dwindling. I was only in the relationship for two years, and I've been out of it for two and a half years. I can only tell so many stories about a relationship that was only two years old.

Sadly, I can probably tell less stories about my marriage to my ex wife. We were married for 13 years. That's a whole 'nother story.

You Can Recover From a BPD Relationship

The beautiful part of this is that you really can recover from a relationship with someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. I've proven it in this blog. I have baggage and scars, but no longer is my psyche shattered and frail from the relationship.

The borderline may rock your world for a while and it may *feel* like you'll never be better again, but you can get through it.

If you do it right, you'll be a better person than when you entered the relationship. It's an opportunity to grow. I've proven it.

Where to Go From Here?

Well, I'll keep writing. I've promised you. I get enough material from your emails (drop me a line at and comments to continue this for some time. I'll also continue to provide helpful how to's and other tips.

Keep the ideas coming. This blog continues to be great community. Let's keep it that way.


  1. The Quiet BPD is far more elusive and dammaging as a result. Reason being you know the classic BDP is out of her mind. The quiet one hides it very well but attacks you with out you even knowing it. Your gut will alert you to lies and inconsistancies.Trust that nauseous feeling its your brain warning you. When you discover the truth do not confront her unless its to dump her. If you are not ready then keep your mouth shut and build yorself up for it by enjoying the sex but see her for the pig she is. Detach from the toxic love first. Prepare your heart. DO NOT TRY MAKE HER CONFESS OR APOLOGIZE. She will just lie and manipulate then give you the silent treatment to punish you for catching her. NEVER show weakness or sympathy as it empowers her. Your poor victim princess is capable of more then you ever thought possible. When you discover how little she really cared you will need a therapist, good friends and all your power to survive it. Dump her cold and never trust a thing she says again.

  2. Anonymous ...This is the first time I am seeing your post, I did it as your described, with my BPD after I caught her cheating (online messages and all...), I kept my mouth shut, and started to dump her in my heart as she was still with me, what you called "Detach from the toxic love first.", after I realized I was ready to take on life without her I let her go Cold turkey...she was a mess after that I was fine.

    Heartless maybe...but that was the price she paid for her cheating and F**king with me.

  3. please know that BPD's are masters at manipulation and they will NEVER take the blame for anything they do or the chaos they create. In fact they simply can not see their destructive behavior for what it is. Good luck to all dealing with this horrid illness.

  4. "But I said I was sorry." This is what I listened to for 4 LONG years! And while she manipulated, and verbally abused me, somehow she always seemed to think she was a victim!!! Everything she did, as simple a task she expected a medal for. I supported her financially, as she rarely worked. I encouraged her. I said nothing while she yelled and verbally degraded me all hours of the night, even when I had to work the next day! I always told her I apprecited her if she did decide to get off her un-motivated ass to cook or clean or something. No matter what I did.... NOTHING was good enough! She controlled who I talked to, where I went, even the way I slept (I always had to be holding her)! She forced sex on me! Picked fights with me whenever I showed any sign of happiness. She has come to work and humiliated me. She was jealous of my f-n cat for f sakes! FINALLY I got rid of her for good a week ago. Now she is going around making up VERY un-true rumors about me. Telling people she caught me cheating many times, and shit!!! WTF she never let me out of her sight!! How could I cheat!!! And this isn't even the half of it! Not even a quarter!

  5. Hey anonymous!

    That stuff you wrote looked really familiar. I'm involved with one now (I expect). She was really attaching when we met, and after a while of dating she pushed commitment on me, saying I was only "fucking and using her when it fitted me" and stuff. Then I agreed to be formally together. What a start.
    She told me stories early on about how she was a victim. That her parents never were there for her, and they are the most loving two parents I have ever met. She also said she was abused. She had huge fights with friends at home, and everyone else was in the wrong. On top of this she has anxiety attacks, and cannot always be alone because of this. Therefore I had to stay home from work several times because of this.
    After that there were fights about closet space, moving in etc. She wanted to see all my sms' coming in. Asking who every girl on facebook that wrote anything on my page was. I hate all the fighting. I'm not that type of guy. Still she made me feel like there was something wrong with me. That I had commitment issues, so I went to a therapist. Needless to say I was recommended to decide if I was comfortable in the relationship, and that this was not normal.
    I then told her I was going to leave. During this seanse she said sh*#t from "I hate you, and all I want is to destroy you" and "go to all your girls now. I hope you become miserable" to "I love you so much, and I can't bear being without you". WTF!?!
    If that's a normal girl I'm better off single.
    Still.. after some weeks she was very sorry. Told me about how sorry she was and that she saw what she had done. She saw that she had been in the wrong and wanted another chance. So.. since I love her and sincerely want her to be that nice, charming and beautiful girl she is when all is good I said yes. Now we're together again, and the craziness has begun again. I'm never interested or loving enough. I'm the best thing on earth one second, and an unloving asshole the next. When I'm not with her we can have 4 hour talks about some subject where she feels abandoned, and when I say I need to sleep at 2 in the morning she feels offended. Then she wakes me up to continue the talk at 10 the next morning my day off. If I try to imply that this s#%$ isn't normal, she tells me that it wouldn't be like this if I only was a normal, caring boyfriend. Now, these past days, she's been loving again, and I have no idea of when she'll have a nuclear breakdown again. I really wish her the best. I love her, strangely enough, but I can't take this life. Now I'm really not looking forward to ending this again. Breaking up with someone like this is really not like breaking up with any other girl. And I know she's going to spread all sorts of f"&%'d up information about me to friends and family afterwards. But I'm building up the courage again.
    Thanks for this site.. I need to read other stories and be able to vent all this. It's good to see that I'm not the crazy one. One really believes it unless one reads this. And it's good to see others like me.
    Good luck guys. I wish you all the best.

  6. I can emphatize with you... we are on the same boat... taking deep breaths while reading you story. Rest assured that you are sane. Good luck to us.


Please tell me your story and how it relates to Borderline Personality Disorder. I appreciate any and all comments that you leave on this blog, and as long as they do not contain inappropriate language or are not on-topic, will publish them. Please note that I cannot respond to blogs as this is an anonymous blog. However, I will publish all appropropriate comments.