One recent comment included a statement that said, "that sounds like something that my exBPD would say." You don't know how many times I thought that when I read an email, a comment, something sent by one of you. It amazes me.
BPD Jealousy
The worst part about it was that when it first happened and I would get those comments, a tinge of that old BPD jealousy would kick in, and I would actually wonder, "is that her?" The roots of the BPD relationship are deep, and we feel them for months, if not years.
Yes, we have all shared quite similar, if not the same, experiences. It's so bad that I can give you a list of them:
- Your BPD partner cheats on you, but eventually tells you
- Your BPD partner constantly tells you that they hate you, but then will pull you back in for a number of reasons
- Your BPD partner does not trust you at all; at first, it was their fault because of their past, but eventually, it became because of you.
I could go on for hours. It's a shame, but they experiences are so similar...
BPD Habits and Behaviors
These can only be described as BPD habits and behaviors. There are plenty of reasons that I've described throughout the site, but unfortunately for us Nons, we have to live with these behaviors. They are similar, there's nothing that we can do about this.
Bottom line -- maybe the comment that I received was from a BPD partner of someone who visits this site (we do get thousands of hits on this site). Maybe the comments that I get regularly are about my exBPD partner. I don't know.
It really doesn't matter, though. We're in recovery from these people -- contact is the last thing that we want.
Posts
Found your site recently. I've never experienced anything like what I went through with (what appears to be) my BPD. Have read things here that sound so much like my experience - with, and after the BPD - that I will definitely explore your site further. Thanks for your courage in sharing your experience.
ReplyDeleteI have found this site recently too. I'm divorcing a BPD woman now and I've started my recovery process about a month and a half ago. I haven't connect the BPD for all that time even I still pay the bills for the flat she lives in and it'll be easier for me to get the papers from her and go to the bank. I prefer to go to all that offices in a city I don't live in anymore just not to connect the BPD again. Specially now when she signed the divorce agreement with me and I'm afraid that she might change her mind...
ReplyDeleteBut what I want to say is that I've red many stories about BPD behavior in a relationships and marriages and they really are basicly the same with my own one and the same one to the other. The BPD tells you "I hate you" and then asking if you want to go shopping with her. The BPD tells you she can't stand you anymore and later on she is offering you a cup of coffee. The BPD breaks your personal property such as computer; lap-top; perfumes and aftershaves; throws your clothes out of the window and even makes false accusations about you at the police office. And when you go at the end, the BPD feels victimized and blames you on everything wrong in the relationships. The BPD cheats and sometimes she is telling you that straight in order to make you feel unworthy, underminding the fact you'll leave her for doing that. The BPD often puts you in a "no win situation", specially if you ask her for something you need. But if you have to offer something instead - the BPD might be interested. The BPD is devaluing you when she is attached by someone else and then playing nice with you when there's no one around. The BPD tries to punish you when you're finished with her. But when the BPD needs you, she blames her actions and behavior on you. And if you had a long therm relationship with a BPD, you should know that she can't move on easily and she still misses you somehow. But she is on the way to find another victim and usually this person is either a wakoo like the BPD herself or an abuser. So the BPD will devaluate him soon and either she'll try to get back to some of her EXs (including you) or she'll get depressed and start hurting herself.
The BPD is a vampire who needs nothing less than a silver bullet!
The BPD is a stalker too. My BPD ex stalked me on Thursday. I expected she'll try to reconect and I had read that the BPDs stalk, so I was ready.
ReplyDeleteWell...I too let myself be taken in by a bpd..at first..he was depressed and told me his life story. He shared past hurts and abuse...he wanted a "friend"...when I took the bait...I was no longer needed..the crazy making began..calls all day and night then abruptly ended when I needed him the most! It is sad and very hurtful...you share your soul only to have it destroyed..the good thing is it gets better in time and you are wiser and less willing to share your soul with just anyone...
ReplyDelete