Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Relationship Recovery Step 2a: When It Hurts Real Bad, Find Distractions

I know, I know. I sit here and say, you've got to feel the pain, allow yourself time to heal, and now I'm saying find distractions?

Look, you're human. I'm human. When it hurts real bad, we do whatever we can to distract ourselves from the pain.

That's okay. As long as the distractions are healthy.

Healthy Distractions While You Are Healing

So, what's a healthy distraction? There are many:
  • Spending time with friends
  • Seeing a movie
  • Doing a hobbie
  • Watching television
  • Exercising
  • Playing a musical instrument
  • Listening to music
  • Reading a book (not a self-help book or a love story)
You can see where I am going here. The distraction could be almost anything.

Time Heals

So if time heals, your healing from the relationship will take time. It will take time for you to reprogram yourself and learn new ways of living life -- you'll change from the "we" to the "me" in everything you do or say. This can be difficult.

While you're letting time heal you, these healthy distractions will help. Playing golf was one of my favorite things to do while healing from the relationship that I was in. I used to go and play rounds of par three golf as I could play with my kids or by myself, and it was a nice way to spend some time outside.

Watch Out for Unhealthy Distractions

There are unhealthy distractions that postpone the pain and can bring you into a world of even more hurt. These include:
  • Drinking excessively or taking drugs
  • Sex with non committed partners
  • Starting a new relationship too soon
  • Anything in excess -- exercise, work, etc.
I hope you see where I'm going here. Do everything in moderation so you can keep yourself and your head whole.

Distractions can be good while you're healing from a broken relationship. You can find healthy ones and help yourself on the road to recovery.

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