Sunday, September 27, 2009

How To Tell If A Person Is BPD -- It's In The Eyes

There's a look that all BPD's share. I call it "anxiety eyes." When you see a person with this look in their eyes, you can tell that they're borderline.

Are all people that have these eyes borderline? I'm not sure.

I discussed this with a counselor once. The counselor told me that you could spot a Borderline a mile away, by the look in their eyes. The counselor also indicated that borderlines had so much pent up anxiety and intensity that as they aged, their faces would get a chiseled look from the constant clenching

I used to show the BPD her anxiety eyes in pictures. I would say to her, "look, there are your anxiety eyes...I can see them there." She would get upset when I would say something like this.

After we broke up, I saw a couple of pictures of her. She would have them taken where you couldn't see her anxiety eyes. They would either be taken far away or she would have sunglasses.

Strangely, her sister would also have those anxiety eyes in her pictures, although I thought her sister was much more down-to-earth than the BPD.

Do only borderlines have these anxiety eyes? I'm not sure. You can tell a borderline a mile away, though, from the look in their eyes. They have this look where they're looking at you, eyes all wide open, pupils fully dilated, but their look is still somewhat blank.

If you've seen it, you know it. You probably won't forget it.



  1. Oh man, the eyes! I know exactly what you are talking about! You know at first all the stuff she did i thought was just crazy girl stuff. But those eyes always told me something is wrong! I felt like i was looking into a black hole. So for everyone out there look past everything they do if you see that emptiness,like he says YOU WILL KNOW IT!...RUN FOR THE HILLS!

  2. Yes and all psychopaths look like emotionless robots. It's a look they have. What utter nonsense.

  3. When I first heard about the notion that borderlines share a trait like "they have the same eyes" I though that it sounded absurd, but after clicking on the thumbnail of one of your blog followers who admits to be diagnosed and who is in recovery it was undeniable. Not so much the eyes alone but that blank emotionless stare, like a mask; emptiness.

    I saw this look occasionally or flashes of it, more towards the end, but it was there, when she would shut down. One time I took her out to dinner for fun, to let her know that I appreciated her and halfway into our first round of drinks she just shut down, out of the blue, like one minute we're both excited to be going out/spending time and the next she's emotionally blacked out, won't say why or what happened or what's wrong or anything, just that expression, those eyes and the lack of anything, just gone.

    This spell pretty much ruined the night and she said that the bartender just made her feel weird because he wasn't paying her enough attention or giving her the attention she thought she needed. I don't know this made no sense to me, she definitely needed everyone to love her all the time and across the board, both male and female, which makes you wonder. I couldn't tell if this was another passive aggressive ploy, like she was mad about something I did and was getting back at me by ruining the night that I had tried to make special.

    This is the crazy-making behavior of a borderline and how it makes you crazy by trying to figure it out, you start to understand a little about how they operate and start trying to analyze their behavior and understand their train of thought but that ends up making you crazy because in the end its just complete chaos.

    This episode spilled over into the next day and the only thing I remember from the night was what a disaster it was, not the fact that it was fun and we went out to dinner and enjoyed each others company.


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