Remembering the past.....

This post was written by regular contributor David -- when you read this, you can see how we share similar stories. Happy Birthday David.

Today was my birthday and all I could think about was how the year before I spent it with my ex. We had just gotten back together in December (AGAINST all odds or so I thought), had spent a wonderful New Years together (alone, we couldn't have her friends knowing...), for Christmas I bought us tickets to a concert the day after my birthday so had that to look forward to. All the pain from before was covered by her borderline allure.

Of course within a month there would be signs (like on her birthday at the end of the month) and of course the pressure to commit by moving in together (none of our friends knew or would help that we asked), March move in and by the end of April all hell had come unloose!

Last year we went to a nice wine bar here in the city, my coworker had just been there and we had a nice evening together. I'm sure we went back to her place and had sex. I wanted to spend the rest of life with her. I wondered today why when we were together she always wanted me to stay at her place but when she was with other men (even now) she goes over there, they never (that I know of) are in her bed. I think I'm having hopeful thinking here and need to remind myself of the facts.

Not sure why knowing all this I missed her, on MY birthday! I miss the nuzzle of her against me, her laugh, her kiss, her body and intensity. All I could think of was how she was him now, today when she should have been with me....and on goes the addiction!

A couple responses I posted on another site are a good reminder of how it was this last time (maybe threes the charm to break free?). I tried to copy them here but it would work, plus you'll get to see the context of them.

15 days till I expect contact from her to begin, hence is the pattern over the past two years.